Archive for the ‘Followers and Following’ Category

Faux Pas de Deux or Shuggleftulation

Monday, March 28th, 2005

In my tango foundations classes, I\’ve often addressed the tendency of a nervous follower to second-guess her choice (or the leader\’s lead, or the lack thereof) and take double or triple steps when one or zero would be best. The tendency sometimes arises because of a mistaken belief that it is the follower\’s job to know or guess what the leader wanted and if she thinks she did the wrong thing, to try to fix it herself. I prefer to teach that the follower makes the best decision she can to take either a single step or no step, and that it is the leader\’s job to then decide whether to accept or adjust the outcome.

I generally compare the result of the follower\’s second-guessing to the situation in which two pedestrians are approaching each other on a narrow walkway, and then spend a few awkward moments stumbling and shuffling, trying to get out of each other\’s way.

Today I came across a recent article on The Straight Dope in which Cecil Adams discusses Is there a word for the jig you do trying to get around someone on the sidewalk?. My personal favorites are faux pas de deux, ambi-ambulation, or avoidancing. Do you have a preference or an alternative?

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Good Followers are Good Listeners

Thursday, May 29th, 2003

A good follower exemplifies the qualities of being a good listener: someone who listens and responds to the speaker with full attention rather than simply waiting for his or her turn to speak.

  • A good listener is comfortable saying \”I didn\’t understand,\” instead of responding to a half-heard statement.
  • A good listener waits patiently and calmly while the speaker assembles his or her thoughts.
  • A good listener can listen without expressing judgment.
  • A good listener will let the speaker follow the train of thought and arive at the conclusion with the speaker instead of jumping to the conclusion ahead of the speaker.
  • A good listener can tell the difference between what a speaker says and what a speaker wants, and can respond appropriately to what the speaker actually said (and can exercise discretion in responding to what the speaker wants).
  • A good listener understands that the things left unsaid don\’t all require a response.
  • A good listener can exercise these skills regardless of the quality and talents of the speaker.

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Leader/Follower != Man/Woman

Thursday, May 29th, 2003

Regardless of tradition, stereotypes, and a preponderance of examples of Man-Leader and Woman-Follower relationships, the roles of Leader and Follower are not the same as being a Man or Woman, Male or Female. Leader and Followers are roles that are adopted during the dance to provide a structure for interaction. They are not necessarily connected to who you are in life, what you do to earn an income, or how you interact with people off the dance floor. Otherwise quiet and unassuming people can dance as good leaders, and take charge, type-A personalities can be good followers during a dance, then revert to type afterward. Exploring the role of leader and follower, unencumbered by gender roles and stereotypes can give everybody a better appreciation of the roles in the dance, and provide insight on how to enhance the communication and interaction of leader/follower roles outside of the dance.

Even if you\’re normally a leader in day-to-day affairs, if you choose to follow in tango, you must learn to follow. If you\’re normally a follower at your place of employment, assuming the role of leader requires donning a different attitude and outlook on doing things. When you develop a more complete understanding of the roles, you\’ll find that switching between them is not as difficult as you thought, and the roles are not as confining as commonly believed. Choosing to lead or choosing to follow is just another choice that we make as people interacting with other people, and they are not necessarily permanent parts of our identity.

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Philosophy for Followers

Thursday, May 29th, 2003

One of the central tensions in tango is the role and identity of the follower. There are lots of conflicting ideas about the proper role of the follower and what the follower needs to do to be a \”good follower.\” Many of the more common ideas are based on misconceptions of the dance itself, or outmoded and shallow models of the relationship between leaders and followers and men and women.

Many problems inherent in understanding the follower\’s role stems from focusing too much on what the follower is not, rather than what the follower is. For many people, the follower is simply not the leader. The follower doesn\’t call the shots. The follower doesn\’t choose the steps, the direction, the speed, the timing. So what does the follower do? To say that the follower simply follows, while true, belies the difficulty inherent in the role and responsibilities of the follower. It\’s a claim no different than saying that to be alive, you have to live or to perceive you must see.

I\’ve written about one aspect of the follower\’s role in a previous blog post (Followers are Not Empty Vessels). I was going to write an extensive unified post on followers here, but came to realize that there are so many different threads to bring together that I\’d be better off posting on smaller, more narrowly focused issues over time, then letting them evolve into something larger on their own. So, expect more on this topic over the next few days/weeks. Some ideas will be more fleshed out than others. Some may just be single lines out of context. Most will probably focus on the concept of the follower rather than specific movements or techniques. In any case, read them, think about them, and respond.

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